indigo-musings

Gratitude

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:20:49 +0100

My heart is so full of gratitude today. I was standing at the bench peeling an egg that was laid in my backyard this morning, and all I could feel was deep contentment and gratitude for my life.

Recently I had the great privilege of attending a documentary screening of “ Guerrilla Midwife”, to which Robin Lim attended and spoke. Apart from deep respect for this womans abilities, determination and the love she gives to all, I really resonated with one thing she said in the documentary in particular (not verbatim quote) “My religion is gratitude”. I really hear that and do my best to be grateful every single day. This is something I have been consciously choosing since the start of this year, and I have found a lot of peace from it. Yes this year has been hard, but rather than resenting what is beyond my control or the ‘help’ that is not entirely helpful, I have chosen to see more than an event on its face value. I choose to pull it apart, see what I am thankful for and focus on that. When that is difficult, I look deeper still. I choose to see what positive follow on effects and reason the event may have and at least understand, if not appreciate that. For example when my youngest was admitted to hospital earlier this year and we stayed for a week with IV antibiotics, after me anticipating a 2-4 hour stay in the emergency dept for some oral antibiotics, I decided not to be upset that her wound from a surgery 3 weeks earlier became infected and was very slow to heal. I did get frustrated that I saw the sun twice in those 7 days and the food was absolutely abysmal to the point where my daughter stopped eating, so I chose to be very thankful my husband is a good cook and brought us food in every day! I also chose to trust that there was another reason why her wound got infected with such a low grade, common infection and took us out of our normal world, into a totally different one. I chose to believe that perhaps in some way we were able to help other people there find some balance and acceptance. It was also very interesting that our wonderful nurse who cared for my daughter before and after her surgery, and 5 of the days during the second admission, had married a very good friend of mine from school. We had not seen each other in many years, so it was lovely to catch up with her after so long. It meant that the Winter Festival at our school was even more poignant as I broke us out of the hospital to go to it. Nothing is ever single layered. More than anything else I chose to be very grateful that when my child was sick and needed help, it was given. No worries about money, insurance, or anything. Only what was needed to support our family, and help her back to full health. I am deeply grateful for this, and have been ever since she was born with Spina Bifida and needed 3 surgeries by 3weeks of age.

Gratitude doesn’t only apply to ‘big’ situations. I actually find it harder, and more necessary in the ‘smaller’ everyday situations where I am likely to be irritated and grumpy. For example as I write this, my youngest has come in and eaten half the chickpea salad I made myself and was looking forward to gobbling in secret, I cannot even count the number of times she has interrupted me to help her cut some felt, thread, pin her sewing together etc. I do not like being interrupted when trying to organise and write down my thoughts, when I am focused on a task and wish to see it completed. So I find it quite funny that I am writing about gratitude and how it can help me keep my cool, and the very scenario where I most often get cranky has arisen. So, whilst chuckling about creating this exact scenario, I have chosen to be grateful to this little girl of light in my life who is so accommodating about showing me the lessons in a way that I am most likely to appreciate them. I also choose to be thankful that she wishes to spend time with me, and finds me a good enough role model that she wants to sit in my sewing chair and make dolls like I do. Sometimes I struggle with it and my husband reminds me ‘at least they like to be with you’. But, truth tell, I don’t always hear it. Sometimes I just want to be grumpy it seems. It is not easy in these times to be grateful, because you have to choose it, have to want to be appreciative.

I do not have the calmest of temperaments, although it is only my eldest daughter who really brings out the inner shrieking-fishwife in me. She is my hard lesson is chilling out and letting it go. There are days that the only way to get through the day is to constantly repeat to myself “I can do this. I want to do this.” On those days I find cultivating gratitude tough. And yet sometimes there is just a moment of things clicking into place, the girls smiling at me, the sun coming from behind the clouds and lighting the kitchen differently, something, and I feel it. Just underneath all the surface muck, there it is- Gratitude. Contentment. If I can relax long enough on hard days, there is even Joy. And if it is only there for a moment on a hard day, that’s ok. I have learnt, somehow through gratitude that the best I can do is the best I can offer, and that’s just fine. As long as I am offering myself and my family my best, not wussing out because I can’t be bothered. Some days my best is pretty awesome, and other days my best is, well, not so much. I also am striving to keep making my best even better and more consistent and I am proud of doing this. Cultivating gratitude for other people and our world seems to have had the happy side effect of being grateful to myself as well. I like living with me much better lately, and that’s got to be a good thing for everyone in the house, surely?

It all sounds sweet and easy written on a blog post once, but how does one go about it? Start with something simple- if there are lots of flies outside, then I would be grateful they weren’t in the house. If there were 2 flies in the house, thanks be there aren’t more! If you find yourself getting irritated and short tempered because something isn’t going your way, look for something that is, or at least see that it could be worse. Spilt dessert all over the floor (yes I have!)? At least it wasn’t dinner too. After a while when things don’t get under your skin so much, take a look around and see how beautiful this world is. Driving home in peak hour traffic, and still waiting for the lights to change? Look out the window to the median strip or footpath. What do you see- weeds or flowers? Weeds can have beautiful flowers too. No plants? What about some interesting buildings? Nothing particularly appealing there? What colour is the sky today? Is it light blue all over, or is the sun setting, or is it overcast and looming rain? I always make a point of welcoming the rain, but then I have lived most of my life on the edge of one desert or another. There is beauty everywhere, but sometimes it doesn’t smack you in the face, you have to look for it. Gratitude too. Once you get the hang of it you will only have to remind yourself sometimes to look for it.

Gratitutde can make a lot of small, subtle differences in the way you see things and therefore act, which has to make this world a little bit brighter for us all.

Please also visit CNN Heroes 2011 and vote for Robin Lim, to help keep her vital work going. http://edition.cnn.com/SPECIALS/cnn.heroes/archive11/robin.lim.html or

http://www.bumisehatbali.org/

Doula

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 13:52:50 +0100

Many years ago I read a wonderful book called Baby Catcher written by a homebirth midwife in America during the 70-early 90s. Whilst reading I had this overwhelming feeling that this was what I wanted to do, how wonderful to support and assist women in birthing their babies! So, with a few pauses on the way, I finished my nursing the degree with the express intention of becoming a midwife when my family was in a position to cope with me studying again. I realised that it would take at least 2 years of learning to become a midwife and many years in the hospital setting before I was able to support women in choosing their homebirth. I had a rather large epiphany in there somewhere as well: all the things I really wanted to do as a midwife I would be able to do as a Doula. So rather than bringing the stress of studying for and then working as a midwife, especially in the current and rather shocking political climate, home to my family I now understand that Doula work is everything that I was wanting anyway, and a lot less stressful.

So it is with great joy and excitement that I have started my course to become a birth and post partum Doula. If you live in the Perth Metro area and are wanting a student doula to support you during and/ after birth then please email me.

A Doula, for those who are unsure, is a professional birth, or early parenting, support person. We are taught about the basics of how birth and the post partum time works, and how we can support families during this time. From practicalities like getting heat packs, massage, putting some washing on or assitance with breastfeeding; to sharing information about common birthing practices and their benefits and risks; we provide emotional support for mothers AND fathers before, during and after birth; we can also advocate to a certain extent for families during birth. More than anything else we hope to be of genuine assistance in helping a family grow and develop, and supporting a woman on her journey to empowerment.

A Doula does not replace partners during birth. A Doula can support fathers by showing them massage techniques, supporting the mother and so allowing for breaks during a long labour, showing how to support a woman in certain birthing positions, or simply provide some reassurance and food.

Research has shown that a Doula working with a family during birth can reduce interventions by up to 40%.

Many families feel somewhat overwhelmed and maybe even a little bit lost after the birth of their baby, depending on their expectations and support. Confusion over sleeping arrangements, breastfeeding, nappying, soothing, vaccinations and everything in between can all be discussed with a Doula and often with simply some support and a little information the family can find their own way into parenting.

As a Doula I can offer particular assistance with Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC), Caesarean Births and recovery, Babywearing, of course, Breastfeeding, Elimination Communication and cloth nappies, Co Sleeping, Attachment Parenting, and Lotus Birth.

If you are interested and wish to discuss my role as a Doula, please feel free to email me on
indigococoons@yahoo.com.au

Many Blessings
Claire

Gifts for children- simple or a minefield?

Sat, 21 May 2011 16:13:52 +0100

With a 5th birthday looming in my house it has started me thinking about gifts. GIfts are fun to give, as every Christmas show constantly tells us; but I am going out on a limb here and saying that I do like to give gifts and I do also like to receive them. For all that I don't expect many gifts (the last tangible, physical gift from my husband was an awesome kitchen knife and a magnetic strip 2 years ago. I am genuinely ok with this) and am truly grateful for the effort, love and thought anyone puts into gifts for myself, or my children, even if I hate the actual gift. With some people in our lives, treasured and loved, more prone to equating things with love and happiness than I, the question has arisen over the last year as to how do I teach my children that while things can be amusing, they are not the point?

I want my daughter to enjoy her birthday with total abandon, and let the sunshine that she is shine and sparkle, and be totally enriched by her birthday. In this glowing picture of the birthday there is no present table, no half hour dedcated to opening presents, no enormous pile of wrapping paper to be thrown out if I can't save it (I havent bought wrapping paper for years), nor do I have to make a mental list of how many of the flashing, beeping, deadening, plastic toys I can pass on before she even notices, and how long it will take me to get rid of the others, and the expectation that most will break and do the job for me. That is not fun for me. What an absolute waste. A waste of resources, time, money and effort that will reap very little reward. Half the presents are often toxic and totally inappropriate for a growing, developing mind.

Barbies and the like are long and loudly criticised as being totally inappropriate for children for what should be obvious reasons. Plastic pretend shops that require very little imagination and collapse as soon as anyone even slightly leans on it- yes I am talking from experience here. Dolls houses that make pre recorded and unchangable sounds, full of appliances and no warmth, and they break within 6months. What do children learn from this? Push a button and the jobs done. Whatever that job was, we never got a chance to decide or imagine because the toys only operate one way. There is no texture, no sensuality, no warmth, no imagination, no nature vibrant and alive. Just plastic of the same texture and toxins. A 'CD player' that sings in an insultingly chirpy voice that makes me think of Minnie Mouse on speed, fashing lights, and half a dozen unchanging and unchangeable songs that may have once been a nursery rhyme. Is it supposed to 'save' me from the 'burden' of singing songs to and with my children? I like to sing. I don't think I am very good, nor very bad, but in my house we sing for joy not skill, so who cares? Certainly not a 2 yr old nor a nearly 5 yr old. I am pretty sure I wouldn't get the same buzz when my child first tries to sing along to some 'CD Player' that I do when I hear this little voice rolling the words of twinkle twinkle around her mouth in the baby monotone and about half the song behind me. But we are singing songs together. It makes my heart swell with happiness and pride, and I am the one who keeps asking her to sing with me.

Many of the toys availble in chain department and toy stored are made from ecologically unsound, unethical or toxic materials. Often all 3. These toys are design for limited use and have limited capabilites. They do not encourage the use of imagination, of learning about the world around us. A child cannot learn about this beautiful world and all the wonder it contains through pictures, plastic toys let alone TV. Giving plastic animals doesn't even rate when compared to going to a petting zoo and acutally holding a baby duck. Seeing fish on the TV is no where near the same as going to the touch pool at your local aquarium, let alone river or beach. Interacting with the world, not images of it, is how our children get smarter, grounded and part of this world. I cherish a dream that my children will be so much wiser, more evolved and intelligent than me. Seeing as I am quite voracious in learning things I choose to think I am setting the bar pretty high. But I know they can do it easily, and I know I can do a lot to help them get going. This means real toys, real food, rhythms (which are hard for me, but I am learning!), quiet time, and big games. It means almost no TV when they are with me. I know the grandmothers use it occasionally as a break for them, and I understand that. It also means giving them as much of my time and attention as I possibly can. This means not getting a lot of work done, washing staying on the line for a few days and the floors are usually unmopped. It means learning how to breathe and let the frustrations go.

My eldest wanted me to show her how to draw a triangle. So we talked about how trianlges have 3 sides that join and drew it. I was not satisfied with this experience for her. It was 2 dimensional, abstract and had nothing to do with the world. So we went on a shape hunt. No pretend tiger was quite as satisfying to her as moving through the house yelling " A trianlge! Mamma I found one!! And another one! See just there!" Some her trianlges were quite clever and she saw them in a way I would not if she hadn't shown me first. We also looked for rectangles and circles, the little one joining in. We moved our bodies, we had fun, we learnt that the world is made up of shapes, their names, and different ways of seeing things. It didn't cost a cent.

We tell stories in our house. Yes, we read a lot of them too, but we also tell them. My semi dying bamboo plant suddenly becomes a forest, an play cloth draped over an upside down basket become Jack and Jills Hill. I am feeling creative so I get the branches of a tree that I cut into approx 30cm lengths and find 2 that stand up on their own. I drap another cloth over top and it's Jacks bedroom. A small cardboard box that is usually a tunnel for cars becomes Jacks bed. I get some little stones, a stick and length of orange wool and we have a little homey fire. It's got nothing to do with Jack and Jill, but I just felt like it. Jill gets a chair from a coconut husk that I saved last summer. And then I find 2 dolls of a similar size and tell the story of Jack and Jill going up their hill. I sing some of it, and embellish very slightly with words other bits. Because it's short I tell it twice. And my two little ones adore every utterance that comes out of my mouth. They are transfixed with the little scene that took me a whopping 7 min to create (I often spend longer trying to find one particular story). They sit on their cushions and listen knowing that we don't interrupt story time. We light a little candle and snuff it out at the end of the story. There is ritual, magic and lots of imagination. After the story is finished I invite them to come and pay with it. But the story scene is still special, still retains some of the magic and they are usually gentle. The last part is the packing away part which works better for some of us than others. This 15 min exercise has totally changed the energy of the house, so I try to remember it when we are all getting grumpy and annoyed with each other. It has also done amazing things for their brain. According to Joseph Chilton Pearce in Evolutions End (a very worthwhile read!) story telling- not reading but telling- gives children stimulation for language development; concentration and focus; stimulation for creating internal images which are the basis of all logical thought; it also causes nerve fields in the brain to interconnect and become permanent brain structures. Not bad for 15 min, and a creative outlet for me.

All of the story telling items formed part of a Christmas present to both children and the most expenisve thing were the second hand baskets to store them in. They received a basket of cut timber branches, bark on but smoothed, a wooden bowl with stones and rocks, and another basket of cotton squares in varying colours. I cut and smoothed the branches myself from a small tree we had to cut down, I cut and hemmed the cloths. Acutally I only hemmed some as they had a different feel to those left unhemmed. The fact that it took time and effort on my part just made the present mean more. This Christmas the big excitement were the 2 aprons I made from left over fabric, so they could have just just like mine. A couple of years ago I looked at our small home with a distinct lack of storage and dreaded the looming birthday. We didn't need more stuff. We were good for stuff. What would come in might handy was a trampoline as an energy fix for all of us. But we couldn't afford it ourselves, nor could we mention it to any particulr family member as a not so subtle hint. So we asked friends and family to please not buy a present, but to give us the money instead and as a whole we would buy this trampoline. We chose carefully and the hours spent on it have innumerable. There was no obscene waste, nothing inappropriate, nothing to try and cram into the few cupboards we have. And she got an awesome present that never would have been an option otherwise.

So this year with even less space to put stuff, and a wider and more offensive array of childrens 'toys' available I have already gotten in early and told family and the excited birthday girl that there will be one amazing present for her this year. Something that is made of excellent quality, is non toxic, ethical, local hopefully and fair traded if not, and totally appropriate for her. A gift from everyone who loves her that will enrich our lives for many years to come. Simple, loving, enriching. A true gift.

Nappy/Body Cream

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 13:00:45 +0100

Those of you who have trawled the website recently may have noticed some of the changes I have made, including the release of our Natural Nappy Cream. For those who are haven't read it, I made the Nappy Cream because nothing I tried worked. My youngest has unusually sensitive and fragile skin, due to her Spin Bifida. Every single cream, ointment, balm, oil, barrier I tried failed after a few days and she open sores around her bottom for months. I found 100% compostable disposable nappies to reduce moisture, I found very moist and gentle wipes (also compostable. I have very happy compost worms) and these helped a little, but not as much as I expected. It still came down to the barrier cream. Zincs stopped her skin from bbreathing, others couldn't provide enough barrier from the moisture. So out of sheer desperation I researched a recipe and fiddled with it to end up with this cream. Within a week the sores that had been there for months were all but healed.

We use this cream for everything- eczema, insect bites, scratches, sores, lip balm, minor burns, and as a general body moisturiser.

I have sold a few jars here and there to people I have met and the subject came up. The feedback has honestly surprised me. I find it sad and funny that many people, myself included, tend to devalue our own efforts and see it as 'nothing', so even though we had success with the cream I didn't expect too much success with other people. So when it has been used for allergic rashes, scar healing from 2nd degree burns to a toddlers skin, and to 81yr old poorly cared for skin; I have been honestly and pleasantly surprised at the very positive feedback.

The cream is available is 2 sizes: 60g and 240g. It is best kept in the fridge where possible. If unrefridgerated at all I can only promise 5 weeks before possible spoiling. Despite some people advising, I refuse to add any kind of preservative or ingredient that is not specfically going to improve the efficacy of the cream. There are no synthetics, artificals, GMO's, toxic anything and I grow the herbs using orgainc principles in my own backyard. The beeswax is local and Western Australian, farmed without pesticides or chemicals. The Canola oil is non GMO, and I am investigating a more local source. I infuse the herbs myself. The Lavender Essential Oil adds a touch of divinity and calm.

Handmade at home with love and care, this is a truly lovely nappy/ body cream. Nothing mass produced about it.

Expanding....

Sun, 26 Dec 2010 06:30:28 +0100

It's been quite a while since my last post, and I feel like I have been as busy as a bee in a bottle. Market stalls, demonstrations, new dyes and colours, and all things crafty. It's been fun! Some of you may have been noticing updates via facebook, and the lack of promised pictures. I am digging out the camera to remedy this right now.

Exciting news is that I loaded myself and my children into our car and drove down to Witchcliffe for a few days. For those who have no idea where Witchcliffe is, and I think that will be many people, it is 5 min south of Margaret River. I had been in contact with a lady named Rae, who has just opened a shop on the highway in Witchcliffe. She has an online store, and regular market stalls, but took the plunge to open a dedicated daily shop. After showing Rae my stock, she has happily agreed to stock a few items at the moment, with a view to increase that in the new year. Which is very exciting for both of us, she can offer parents a practical, versatile and very long lasting wrap and I have the happiness of knowing more people are able to find my wraps and get the joy and use from them, that I do. We also hope that enough people will be interested in them for me to go down regularly and hold a workshop to run for a couple of hours. This will be for those who have bought a wrap and are interested in having help putting their babe in a back tie for the first time, or as a trouble shooting forum if something isn't working quite right. I will also demonstrate different ties, their uses, and limitations, as well as providing background about babywearing, different styles and cultures, and the advantages of it. The workshop could be helpful if your partner is unsure, or has reservations about a wrap or babywearing in general. If you are interested in attending a workshop either in Witchcliffe, or Perth please contact me on indigococoons@yahoo.com.au

Have a look at the shop, Fishica, as there are some beautiful toys, clothes, gifts available. All the items are at least sustainable and kind to our environment, and many are certified organic. The link to the shop can be found on my links page.

Dolls, West Coast Steiner School Open Day

Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:38:26 +0100

Last Sunday saw me set up on the school grounds of West Cost Steiner School in Nollamara for their annual Spring Fair and Open Day. There were camel rides, patting zoo, coconut throw, class performances, face painting, story telling, wood working and some of the most beautiful crafts i have ever seen. Most times when I think school fair crafts I think the grandmas with the same kinds of things- drawer sachets, unfortunately colour combined knitted tea cosy and the like. But not so here. There is something so magical and loving about the Steiner style dolls and gnomes, especially those done in needle point felting. Soft, warm, beautiful colours, and well made in general. They leave lots to the imagination on purpose, and yet nothing is really missing either. They do not come cheaply as there is quite a bit of work and love gone into each and every one- but what worthwhile thing of qualilty ever came cheaply? If it was cheap then it means no one values the product- not the creator, purchaser nor the recipient. And what does it say to someone if you always buy them cheap things made in China on a factory line with no love, imagination or time spent? Yes, it is hard with budgets and children, but I say we buy far too many things. I would rather, and do, give my children one valuable christmas present that is really worth something that 5 or six little plastic things that I walked into Target and bought with little thought or value. Buy something that is quality and valuable that will last and you will be giving a gift to everyone. A gift to the person, yourself, the environment and those who took the time to make a quality, thoughtful product. Buy less, but buy well.

I have also begun to dabble in the Steiner style dolls, gnomes and angels. Using the spare pieces of my dyeing and stuffing the bigger dolls with all the little off cuts from sewing I am able to keep the costs down, and therefore throw nothing away. Where possible I use organic materials, and for things for small babies I use only certified organic including the stuffing. Have a look in the photo gallery for what I have done so far. I am also working on getting the shop into gear especially in time for Christmas.

My next market stall will be at the Handmade Childrens Market in Booragoon, Nov 6th. If you are curoius about a Wrap and can't make it to the babywearing group please come down, I really encourage people to try them on before they buy one to make sure it's what they think it will be. Everyone who has tried one on has been really surprised about how comfortable and secure it is. I recently met a lady buy one as she has 2mnth and 4 mnth old grandchildren whom she wants to be able to care for and love with ease. She wasn't terribly certain about wraps when we began talking, but after trying one on and having a wander around nearby she came back and bought one straight away. Give them a try, you might be surprised.

Co sleeping and Baby things

Sun, 03 Oct 2010 12:22:56 +0100

I have added a picture of a new Cocoon, called 'Springtime' to the picutre gallery. I'm not a pink person, I never buy pink for my girls, and heaven only knows they have enough of it as it is. But for all the anti pink in me, I really like this colour. It's not a sickly little girl sweet pink, all fluff and giggling gooeyness like some pinks. It's a bright, bold pink, with a bit of purple in it. It's feminine and fun, and reminds me of some beautiful spring flowers, most especially the tulips at my wedding in April. Have a look and see what you think.

The controversy of co sleeping has come up again. In response to the controversy and lack of awareness about the good things of co sleeping, and how rare it is that a baby actually gets 'rolled on', I have added a new page to the website, romantically called ' Other Baby Things'. In this I present not only my thoughts and experiences, but the research and conclusions of 2 well respected doctors.

I must admit to wondering why it frightens people so much. I find it more frightening to be away from my newborn, not being able to touch and hear them, not knowing if they are cold, hot, lonely, breathing, bored, awake or asleep. In my more dramatic internal moments flashes of concern that she was actually still there- and this was only for a day sleep, not even the whole night away from me. Reason told me that my baby being taken from our house was beyond unlikely, but I didn't know. When my baby is next to me I do know, every part of my body knows what that baby is doing. My whole body is geared up to be close to my baby. Just as my whole body is designed to grow, birth, and feed my baby so it is meant to sleep next to my baby.
I find the idea of SIDS terrifying. I also remember that SIDS used to be called cot death. Now Shakespeare tells us that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I do think that the name we give something has some reflection and truth about it. I also have a personal idea about SIDS, it is not a comprehansive idea, it doesn't apply to every situation and I have nothing to bakc it up other than my intuition. I may loose some people here, and I certianly hope I cause no offesne, but no one thinks in my brain but me, and I'm not trying to think for anyone else either.
When hospital nursing there were times when someone was dying, and not expected to survive the shift. I would walk into the room and it would feel like the spirit had already gone but for a tiny link to the body that kept the lungs working and the heart beating, and essential systems functioning, but what made that person who they were, their presence and personality had already left this world. When my babies were brand new there were times when it felt the same. That the link between body and spirit was very small. When sleeping a babes spirit will often go between this world and the spirit world, and this is normal. But if a baby has no physical anchor to find their body easily it can be hard to get back to it. If there is no warm body next to them, touching them, bringing them back to the body; I can see that there would be times when the link between body and spirit got too thin, too stretched, and broke. There was one night when my eldest was about 3 or 4 months old (from memory the most common time for a baby to die from SIDS) and we were all going to bed and as I was putting her down, already sleeping, I knew with every fibre of my being that if I put her down and even just lay next to her she would not wake up in the morning. the rational part of my mind tried to assert itself and say that it was so unlikely, and I was being a bit dramatic and silly here. But the knowledge that she would die if I did not hold her in my arms, in my heart and in my mind and be the anchor for her was so overwhelming that I just sat on the edge of our bed and held onto her. I sat there for over an hour, never once thinking of putting her down, perpared to hold all night if needs be, and I loved her. Then all of a sudden it was ok, she was back, safe and I could put her down now and sleep the night next to her like we usually did. It was like sitting in an exam, concentrating, and so focused on whats right in front of you, and then suddenly you're finished and a hand touches you on the shoulder to say "Well done, it's all finished now." That was what it was honestly like. I will never forget that night, and the knowledge that I really did guard her and watch her through the night, just like some of the lullabyes promise. It makes me wonder how many other babies have needed the anchor of loving arms, and not gotten it becasue we are told that we will roll on top of our babies and smother them if we share a bed?

Apologies

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 12:12:30 +0100

Just to quickly apologise for my terrible typing and editing of the post just before. I clearly didn't read through it well and have just noticed all these silly little mistakes, when it's too late to undo them. There is evidence that shows learning new skills your whole life- which doesn't end at retirement- keeps your brain healthy and more "plastic" therefore more easily retain new information. You could consider my typing as a new language to be learnt. A friend once told me when I went to try to clarify what I had just poorly said "It's alright, I speak Claire" I wish she was wrong. Happy Parenting!

Earthwise Open Day

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 12:05:07 +0100

Today was my very first market stall ever, and I actually didn't forget anything! At the lovely grounds of the Earthwise building in Subiaco there was a steady crowd all day. We had music, dancing, pizza and 'fruit screams', composting demos and all things earthy.

A few people tried on wraps, putting their little ones up on their backs for the very first time, and then having a wander for 10 minutes. I think it's really important to touch the wraps, see the colours in the daylight and to actually try them on. I bought my first one on a wing and a prayer, and luckily it worked out for us, but for so many people it doesn't. They have no one to show them how to use it, and the instructions can be difficult to understand, and no one to bounce questions off. Which is why I offer 'lessons' and email contact, as well a regular markets stalls as a way for people to find me and ask me anything, it really does make a difference. My next definite stall will be at the West Coast Steiner School Open Day/ Spring Fair in Nollamara, on Sunday October 24th. There may be another stall beforehand, check the Contact Us page for updates.

I am currently playing with a purple, red and supposedly 'fuschia" dye- I will keep you all posted. I am also working out my natural Indigo Vat, which takes about a week to ferment. Synthetic Indigo vats are much faster, but use chemicals that I am not willing to put near babies, or parents, or my own skin. Indigo is a very particular dye, very different to other dyes which is why I was waiting until I did a full day workshop on how to use Indigo before I even tried it. Now its just a matter of certain logistics and blues will be featuring here very soon! When another shipment comes through I will have another range of greens to offer; for some reason the green I was using has decided to go a beautiful golden colour though I have no idea why. That's the fun of natural dyes!

The purple Cocoon from the photos has found a new home where it will be well loved. When I took it over and helped Rita put it on for the first time, and her 2 week old little girl in, it was really lovely to see as Rita looked at me and kept saying 'This is good, this is so good'. She was so excited to have her little one snuggled up close it took her about 10 min to realise that her hands were totally free, and it was a revelation for her to actually experience what her mind knew was supposed to happen. Having 2 hands free is a big bonus as there are 2 gorgeous children aged 2 and 4 to care for as well. I love my work! Helping families find ways to do what needs to be done, but done with love, grace and thoughtfulness rather than simply coping; what more can I ask for?

I now have 3 yellow Cocoons, ranging from a golden colour to a slightly olive yellow. I also have a charcoal Cocoon as well as others listed in the products page. I will upload some photos as soon as I can.

There is so much joy and freedom in being able to nurture your child and still wander around at markets or the library or shops, at cafes and restaurants without being tied to a pram, and constantly having the make people move so you can get past. We even took our youngest out to dinner at fancy restaurant for our 10 yr anniversary when she was 7mnths old. She went to sleep between entree` and mains with little assistance from me and I enjoyed the rest of my meal. We didn't take up an extra tables worth of space with a pram and didn't have to bump any tables or run over toes trying to get out again. Yes, I have actually run over someone toes while trying to get past them in a cafe, though I think that speak more to my pram pushing ability than much else. Needles to say it was very embarrassing. A few months ago, the ABC local radio had a talkback session about prams being refused entry into certain cafes as there is insufficient space for them and can actually be a fire hazard. I rang in and shared how I had to wait for 2 hrs once to get on a bus that would let my pram on, and I also said it's no longer an issue for us as I use my wrap all the time!

I look forward to meeting more families at my next stall, hope to see you there!

Babies, Birth and Placentas

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 13:50:38 +0100

I love having my children up on my back, or front, or hip. I really do. It's so much easier to talk with them than trying to yell over the traffic when walking, and it's nice to be close. Today I took both girls to see a play of Three Billy Goats Gruff at my local library, and on the way home my youngest was tired and hungry, but mostly she had just had enough of being in the pram. I was more than happy when she nodded yes to coming up on Mammas back. It wasn't exactly what she was hoping for but I didn't feel like having a 20 mnth old on my front, feeding while pushing a sleeping 4 yr old in a pram uphill. Up she went, with my loose cardigan around both us to keep the cool evening breeze off and away we went. After little while, these chubby little hands patted my shoulders and hugged my neck. Then she decided she would give Mamma a massage, which I think is a fair trade. I couldn't help but think to myself that I would have missed this special moment, and many others like it, if I didn't have my wrap. Especially with more than one child to nurture and love, it can be difficult to find moments of just one on one time when everyone is happy. Often it's a quick cuddle for a squished finger, or doll snatching and away we go to get breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack ready, or packing bags to go out and so on.

I have found it difficult to be as available to my children this last year as I would like to be. Rushing here, dashing there, get this sorted and then running late for that. It's a little bit silly, and I do find that the girls are carted around a bit and that bed time can't come soon enough some days. However I am taking stock of things and slowing down a bit, I even got to do some gardening today! I have been using my wrap more and more and my youngest is happier for it. She was born with Spina Bifida so walking is an extra challenge for her, though she is giving it a red hot go! Consequently I carry her more than most children her age, and it's a nice way to connect and she loves horsey games on my back.

We buried her placenta today, just my youngest and I. At first I thought I should wait for my husband and eldest to join us and make it a family thing. As I mused over it, I realised that I could make it a two step process and very reflective of pregnancy and birth. During the pregnancy it was just the two of us, and then she was born into our family. It seems a fitting ritual to me. I also realised that all the business of her birthing is settled now. There is no longer anything unfinished or lingering, everything is in its place and that's ok. As her birth was polar opposite to our plans, this has taken some time to achieve. So I dug the hole and as I put the placenta in the hole said some words of recognition and thanks. What was really lovely was that my youngest came over, and wanted to know what I was doing and helped my put the earth back over it until we were ready to plant as a family on the weekend. We bought a peach tree for her, she is such a little peach. My eldest has a rose, which is also very apt. Beauty, sweetness, very high satisfaction and rewarding but at a price!

I also wish to welcome a lovely little girl who was born at home, 4.4kg in the water, as a vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC). She was born on the weekend to a good friend and I wish them all much love and happiness with their 3 beautiful children.